Don't Try to Fix It????

Continuing on the topic of being good husbands....

 Colossians 3:18 “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."

    I think that Paul writes this in his letter because he knows how men’s minds work. We like to fix things and make them better. As soon as we have an understanding of the problem and a good solution we want to get to work. We want to be our best and we want those around us to be their best. If we aren’t careful though, the actions resulting from this mindset can be harsh on our wives.

   As a band director, it is my job to critically listen and correct during rehearsals and lessons. But as a husband my job is very much the opposite. My job is to listen, affirm, and encourage. To be gentle and not harsh. The innate desire to fix is a hard thing to turn off when my wife wants/needs me to just listen. Slowly I am learning this is what she needs. Whether I am listening about her day or a problem she has, I have learned the first thing I need to do is listen, affirm her feelings and encourage her. Then if she asks for my advice or help I can provide it. This is one of the most challenging things for me to do at times, but one of the most important.

    Christ laid his life down for the Church to present her radiant, without blemish, holy and blameless. The example set before us is Christ building the church up, not tearing it down. He says that in the same way we should build our wives up. It is our job to do this through pointing out her strengths and encouraging her, rather than pointing out faults or problems. Her greatest need is to feel loved, and as our first ministry that is what we ought to strive to attain daily. Don't know where to start? Try Post-It Note Love.

 Ephesians 5:25-33 

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—  for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."