Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her but the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church.” Ephesians 5:25-30
Knowing she is loved and feeling like she is loved are two different things. We have to affirm our feelings toward our wives….often. Often times we think that our wives should know that we love them, but one of the best things we can do is tell them, and be specific when we do. Tell her why you love her, and what it is specifically you love about her or something you admire in her. Calling out her strengths, affirming her, building her up, will empower her to be the great woman God has made her to be.
We are called to love our wives as Christ loved the Church. That is a pretty tall order. Christ gave up His life for us (the Church) on the cross, and poured out everything He could to step in the gap for us, the Church, and redeem us, wiping away our sins, to bring us into a closer relationship with Him. The parallel to our marriage is obvious and challenging. The more we pursue our wife each day, and affirm her and love her with our words and actions, the more radiant she will become in the woman she is, and the closer we will be with our wife. When this takes place, Proverbs 31:31 will be the reality “Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” We have the power as husbands to elevate our wife to such a level of living that will bless others in abundant numbers. That is why our wife must be our first ministry every day, because our marriage will be the root from which an abundant harvest of ministry will grow if we cultivate it. If we do not, it can become quite the opposite. So here are some tips...
- Make it simple and often.
- Encouraging or complimentary words on a note, text, email, phone call, or in person. Maybe even a post it note (See Post It Note Love)
- Remind her that you are glad you married her.
- When life gets busy and crazy, especially with kids, it is easy to forget about pursuing the woman you love. Be intentional about time to talk in the evening, have a consistent date night on a weekly basis, and do those thoughtful things that you once did to win her over back in the day. Women need to be pursued throughout the relationship, just as we pursued them before we got married.
Love your wife as Christ loved the church. We didn’t deserve His love, yet He gave everything He had to us anyway. When we let Him down or screw up again, He forgives us and continues to pursue us. Let’s make our marriages the same way......I have some work to do!
Join me next time for Part 3 of the 5 part series as we look at what it takes to help our wives feel understood.
